Friday, April 13, 2018

I am The Awkward

Okay, my coworker thinks I'm crazy, but went to get pizza for a very late 4pm lunch and the guy at the counter is making nice chit chat and being very friendly. I've seen him there before and we always chat while he gets my order.

Then he tells me my lunch is half the price it usually is. I look at the receipt and notice that he charged me for my salad but not my pizza so I mention it and he just smiles and says "I know."

Which is really nice. I know. But I also think this guy is might be low-key interested in me (you know, that feeling you get cause a person looks at you a certain way; like, cool, you think I'm cute. Thanks for the ego boost, I will take that warm fuzzy with me while I move on with my day), so it made me a little uncomfortable taking the free pizza. Cause a pizza isn't a warm fuzzy. It's tangible thing that holds tradable value. Money was put into the making of this pizza; hence why money is exchanged to obtain it. That is its nature and purpose. Taking it for nothing feels wrong. So, flustered, I just wrote down the price of what I'd usually pay for my lunch and left.

My coworker told me, "I'd just take the free pizza and run."

And maybe I should have. He was trying to be nice. And he didn't actually hit on me or ask me out. It was just a nice thing.

But I don't know.

I don't like doing that.

It feels weird.

Like, I don't know why you did this and I don't know what it means and I don't really want to. Pizza Guy, you're cute and nice and good for the warm fuzzy ego boosts, but all I want is my lunch. My uncomplicated lunch. For someone like me who can't read people well and overthinks and over-worries about everything, this just ruins my lunch. Now THIS is all I can think about. Just take my money and give me my food. That is all I want.

...This is why most if not all my characters are awkward as fuck, right? Awkward is what I know. Awkward is my specialty.

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